I am the most home sick I think I’ve ever been in my life. I keep seeing posts from a year ago, two years ago, six years ago even, that remind me of time that I spent with my family. My mom making dinner. Long conversations with my dad in our white rocking chairs that find their place in the garage. My brother playing video games and me sneaking in to sit on his bed for a few hours– no other sound but my brother’s random voice breaking the silence to speak into his headphones. My sister and I jamming out to indie music with the windows down as she drove with no destination in sight. Our dogs going crazy any time someone walked passed the window or rang our doorbell.
When I was younger, I wasn’t home as much as I should have been. I didn’t take advantage of the time I was given to spend with my family. Instead, I was always with a different friend, or gone for the weekends because of debate, or playing softball, or staying at the high school for long nights of theater rehearsals. And when I was home, I slept or kept to myself, because I was “peopled out!” My mom would constantly ask me if I was sticking around for awhile, and of course I’d explain to her that I had much more important things to do. I wasted quality time with my family, and I didn’t think twice about it.
I can’t help but want it back, especially now that I think about the fact that I haven’t seen my family since July. I think about how everyone else got to go home for summer vacation, but I made the decision to stay in Oklahoma and take more classes. I think about the fact that my sister is in Kentucky and that my family will soon be scattered all over the United States, because the Brown’s don’t stay in one place very well. Instead, they take the next adventure head on with full intentions of having a great time the whole way through! I love my family for their love of traveling the United States and placing their claim on new places. They open their hearts to everyone they meet and love people and help people and it’s great.
I’m homesick and I’m jealous. Honestly, I might even be a tad bit selfish. The other day I sat at my friend’s house and did laundry. Her mom loved on her and got us dinner and made me feel so welcomed. A few days later, I was with my boyfriend and his family at their home. We sat around a table, ate lunch as a family, and played an intense card game. Afterwards, we sat around the television, watched a football game, and ate pie. These two moments, although extremely nice, made my heart ache for what I don’t have while I’m in Oklahoma– my family.
I guess what I’m getting at here is not to take time with loved ones for granted. When you are younger, it is a lot easier to make time for your mom, dad, brother, or sister. But you are the one in charge of doing so. Cherish the movies you go to with your mom, or the father-daughter dates you go to with your dad. The conversations you get to have on car rides to the store- those are important! The family dinners where your mom makes you turn off the TV so everyone can discuss their day- those are necessary. Going to church on a Sunday morning and holding the hands of your parent while you pray to God, well I’d personally say that’s the best part out of anything.
God blessed you with a family. He blessed you with a home to go to. So don’t question that. As you get older, make time for the people who love you every day no matter how terrible you are to them. They love you at your best. They pick you up at your worst.
With that being said, I get to go home in 9 days and I cannot wait to see the people my heart has been aching for lately.